The Role of a Father According to Scripture
Seven qualities of a biblical father
Defining the role of a father is challenging due to limited guidance, cultural pressures, and a lack of role models. Men may feel torn between being too strict or too distant. However, for Christians, the Bible provides clear guidance and inspiration on fatherhood through God’s example.
Whether a biological or spiritual father, it is important to understand what the Bible teaches about fatherhood. Scripture highlights key qualities fathers should develop, and while no one is perfect in all areas, the focus should be on learning God’s expectations and growing with His help.
Key Scripture: Deuteronomy 6
Exhortation
- Spiritual leader.
Perhaps your most important job as a dad is pointing your kids toward a personal relationship with God through Jesus. In Deuteronomy 6, Moses emphasized the importance of parents, especially dads, in answering spiritual questions and providing spiritual guidance. That may seem intimidating, but remember this: You don’t need all the right answers or a ton of theological training. You just need to follow Christ with a passion. If you do that, He will help your talk match your walk. - Loving husband.
In Ephesians 5, Paul reminded his readers that part of their role as a father is loving their wives like Jesus loves the church. That underscores just how seriously God takes this question. Of course, many divorced men struggle in their relationships with their ex-wives. In those cases, do what you can to show respect. And, if you’re filling a fatherhood role as a non-family member, always encourage the kids to show similar respect for their biological parents. - Encourager.
It’s amazing how powerful words can be. Even the slightest slip of the tongue can cause doubts and pain in a child’s life. In contrast, your role as a dad means that you serve as your kids’ greatest cheerleader. Passages like Ephesians 6:4 and Proverbs 22:6 remind us that when we encourage kids to be their best, they will respond. When you have their backs, your kids will feel secure and will find it easier to move toward becoming the people God created them to be. So, make sure “encourager” is an intentional part of your role as a father. - Role Model.
In your role as a father, you provide the model for your children. If you follow God, it’s more likely that they will follow God. If you live with integrity, they will probably live with integrity. If you are the husband God calls you to be, your sons will see what kind of men they should become, and your daughters will know what kind of me to seek in their dating and marriage relationships. Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life. Proverbs 22:6 TPT. - Dreamer.
Most dads have dreams for their kids. While you don’t want to live vicariously, you do want them to realize their potential and live the life God has planned for them. Thankfully, that kind of healthy dreaming is a completely appropriate part of the fatherly role. In Psalm 127:3-5, the writer focused on the blessing of children. He pointed out that kids are created to be arrows that fly straight. The psalmist also mentioned his desire to see his children stand strong as a leader who have no reason to back down when facing opposition. Those are solid dreams, the kind of dreams fueled by the prayers of a man who takes his role of father seriously. - Mentor.
We’ve touched on this with some of the other qualities (see Deuteronomy 6 and Proverbs 22:6), but it’s impossible to overstate the importance of your role as a mentor. In fact, the older your children get, the more important that becomes. Let’s be honest, as kids reach their teen years and start moving toward adulthood, your role as a dad changes. That’s natural, and that’s healthy. You shift from being the one who tells them what to do to the one who offers advice and wisdom. That’s part of what mentors do, and it’s a big part of what fathers do. - Provider.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but Paul thought it was important enough to mention in his first letter to Timothy. He told his spiritual “son” that a believer who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than a pagan (1 Timothy 5:8). Those are pretty strong words about the role of a father. Of course, Paul was talking primarily about financial provision, and that’s important. You need to show them that God is the ultimate Provider.
As you think about these seven biblical qualities that help define the role of a father, do you think of any qualities that can be added? How have we been playing out these qualities in our families? Are there areas that need improvement?
Evaluate yourself in each of these areas. Prayerfully examine your strengths and weaknesses—then ask God how you can nurture the areas where you’re doing well and jumpstart your areas of struggle. Second, dig into Scripture to find even more ways to grow in your role as a father.
“I pray that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through the Holy Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love…” (Ephesians 3:16-17)