The Christian Family Man

Life as a Christian man is filled with important things. We pray for our wives and children, work to provide for our families, ask God for health and protection, make decisions about businesses and careers, serve in church, support relatives and carry responsibilities that Scripture itself tells us not to neglect. None of these things is wrong; many are expressions of obedience and love. Yet one of the most sobering lessons God taught me through the death of my brother was that the difficult choice is not always between good and evil. Sometimes it is between something good and what God requires of us in that particular moment. We can be sincerely praying, serving and doing what appears completely right, while becoming so occupied with what we believe needs to happen that we forget to ask, “Lord, amid all of this, what are You saying to me now?” [I have shared the personal story behind this lesson separately.]

Martha gives us a striking picture of this. When Jesus entered her home, she was not distracted by sin; she was serving Jesus Himself. Hospitality was good and necessary, yet Jesus told her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one” (Luke 10:38–42). Mary had recognised what mattered most at that moment and sat at His feet. That should challenge us as men because our lives are crowded with genuinely important responsibilities. There will always be another bill, deadline, family matter, problem to solve or prayer request demanding attention. Spiritual discernment therefore isn’t merely knowing right from wrong; sometimes it is recognising what is needed now among several things that are all important.

This applies even to prayer. We can come before God already convinced that we know exactly what needs to happen: Lord, heal this; change that; open this door; fix this situation; protect my child; save my business. These can all be legitimate prayers, but prayer is not merely presenting our conclusions to God — it is fellowship with Him. Romans 8:26 says that “we do not know what we ought to pray for,” and that the Spirit helps us in our weakness. What freedom there is in admitting that! We don’t have to know everything. Sometimes the prayer we need is simply, “Holy Spirit, help me. What should I be seeing? What should I be praying? What are You doing here?” Proverbs 3:5–6 similarly tells us not to lean on our own understanding but to acknowledge God in all our ways and allow Him to direct our paths. The mature Christian man is therefore not merely a man who prays much, but one who remains teachable while he prays.

And there is an eternal urgency to this attentiveness. Paul says that “the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night” (1 Thessalonians 5:2), while Jesus compared His return to the days of Noah: people were eating, drinking, marrying and carrying on with ordinary life until the flood came (Matthew 24:37–39). What is striking is that eating, drinking and marrying were not themselves the problem — life was simply happening. That should sober us. We do not necessarily become spiritually unprepared because we deliberately abandon God; sometimes life becomes so full of work, family, ambition, entertainment, problems and even Christian activity that eternity quietly disappears from view. Jesus therefore repeatedly tells us to watch. Not to live anxiously or abandon ordinary life, but to live ordinary life with an extraordinary consciousness that Christ is coming and today belongs to God.

Perhaps part of the challenge is that our appetites have been trained differently. Just as someone accustomed to heavily processed sweetness can gradually lose appreciation for the natural taste of the fruit itself, constant exposure to the world’s definitions of excitement, urgency, success and fulfilment can make simple fellowship with God appear uneventful. Yet Scripture invites us, “Taste and see that the LORD is good” (Psalm 34:8). Walking with God is not the boring interruption to real life; walking with God is life. So let us work, build businesses, raise children, love our wives, plan for tomorrow, enjoy life and bring every legitimate need before God — but let us never become so occupied with the many important things that we lose the One who gives them meaning. May we remain close enough to hear His voice, humble enough to change direction when He speaks, and attentive enough to recognise when, among many important things, God is pointing us towards the one thing that matters most right now.