The Christian Family Man

As fathers, we’re called not just to provide for our children but to protect the paths they walk,  especially when it comes to relationships. One of the most underestimated battlegrounds in parenting is the influence of friendship. Who your child walks with will shape how they talk, think, behave, and believe. The Bible doesn’t leave this up to chance: “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33), and “Walk with the wise and become wise” (Proverbs 13:20). That’s not control — that’s discipleship. And turning a blind eye to the people shaping your child’s heart isn’t just passive, but dangerous. Look at Amnon, King David’s son — it was the counsel of his friend Jonadab that led him into sin and disaster (2 Samuel 13:3). One wrong friend changed the course of his life forever.

Our job isn’t to make every choice for them, but to train their discernment and guard the gate while they’re still learning to see clearly. In the same way we wouldn’t let anyone walk into our house uninvited, we shouldn’t let just anyone walk into our child’s heart. That includes school friends, online connections, even church circles. As fathers, we must stay prayerfully alert: Who are they drawn to? What are those friendships producing in their behaviour? Are they becoming more secure and Christ-like, or more confused and pressured? King Jehoshaphat was a godly man, but he nearly destroyed his legacy by aligning himself with King Ahab — a man whose influence brought unnecessary battles (2 Chronicles 18:1–3). Good men can suffer from bad alliances.

But this isn’t just about saying no. It’s about teaching them what to say yes to. Help your children understand what healthy, godly friendships look like — loyalty, shared values, truth-telling, boundaries, and fun that doesn’t compromise faith. Share your own stories. Let them know when a friend saved you, or when a wrong relationship nearly wrecked you. The earlier they learn to filter influence through wisdom, the stronger they’ll be when they start making those decisions without you in the room. Think of Jonathan and David, a friendship rooted in covenant, sacrifice, and spiritual loyalty (1 Samuel 18:1–4). That kind of relationship isn’t just rare — it’s worth teaching and praying for.

And don’t forget this: the way you model relationships will speak louder than what you say. If they see you walking with men of integrity, honour, and faith — that becomes their standard. If they hear you praying for their friends, inviting godly role models into their life, or gently questioning what you observe — that becomes their safety net. You’re not just the dad who enforces boundaries; you’re the gatekeeper who builds a future.

So don’t feel guilty for watching closely. You’re not being paranoid, but being prophetic. You’re seeing ahead, guarding the soil where your child’s identity will grow. And as they mature, the goal isn’t to always shield them, but to equip them. So they’ll learn to say: “That’s not just my friend — that’s someone God would want in my life.” And that starts with a father who took the time to guide, pray, and guard the gate. Even Jesus was intentional about His inner circle — He loved many, but only a few walked closely with Him (Mark 3:13–14). If our Saviour chose wisely, so should we — and so should our children.