How does that man function in his home? This is what Paul says in 1 Timothy 3:4-5: [Such a man] must have proper authority in his own household and be able to control and command the respect of his children. (For if a man cannot rule in his own house how can he look after the Church of God?) (JBP). A man is expected to rule in his own house. He is expected to exercise authority and to have his children respectful, obedient and under his control. If a man cannot achieve that at home, Paul indicates he has no hope of succeeding as a ruler, governor or leader in God’s church.

In the home, the father has the responsibilities of the pastor or shepherd. The wife, according to Scripture, is the helper, created to help her husband like the deacon. The children are the congregation or the flock. God has built into the family all the basics that make up a proper New Testament church. God says, in effect, to the father of the family, “You make it succeed in your little church, the one I’ve committed to you in your own home, and then you’ll qualify for promotion in the church of God.”

As a picture of a father who accepted and fulfilled his responsibility to rule, govern, or be king of his home, I want to turn now to Abraham. God Himself tells us just why He chose that one man, Abraham, to be the head of this new race on which the salvation of all other races was going to depend. Genesis 18:17-19: And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do; seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the ways of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

What did God see in Abraham that made Him choose him? He saw that he would command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord. He could rely on Abraham to fulfill his duties as a governor of his family. That word “command” is a strong word. It is almost a military word. There may be some mothers or wives who would ask, “Are you speaking about being a dictator?” No, but I am speaking about a man who is a man—a man who knows his position and responsibility. There are some situations in which a man under God is responsible to command his household. He is responsible to say, “In order to please God and have His blessing, this is the way we’re going to do it in our home. We’re not going to do this, but we are going to do that.” A father has a right to determine some of the basic rules of the household: what time they will eat together, the time that younger children must be in, the kind of entertainment that are permitted, the amount of time that they spend in front of television and the kind of programs they watch. A father has not merely the privilege, he has the duty of commanding his family in these respects. God said, “I’ll bring upon Abraham that which I’ve promised because I can trust him to do that for Me.”